Why do old people demand respect but show none of it?

Question

Well, this seems to be generally the attitude of old people, both on the streets and on the Internet, and many of the old people on here seem to have this attitude.

I am an 18 year old boy, and I always make sure to hold the door if someone is walking through it after me. Recently, while my acting class ended, I was exiting a room, while two old ladies, one of whom was disabled, were coming towards it. I held the door. They just walked through and gave no sign of appreciation whatsoever! Then an old man was also coming, so I held the door again. He gave no more thanks than they did.

And also, I remember 5 years ago, being on a bus, with a old man who managed to have something bad to say about anyone who wasn't old! If you were a child, he would whine about you talking up the stairs, if you were a baby/mother of a baby, he'd tell you to shut up/stick a dummy in its mouth and if you were a teenager he would make remarks about your trousers and their state. He probably would also have been racist if there were black people on the bus. He also told some woman who was friendly with him, that how his grandaughter had two children- and he hadn't seen the youngest yet- well of course he hadn't! He'd tell it to shut up, and he'd tell her to stick a dummy in its mouth!!!

So, what gives these old people the right to be this way? Decent old people- this isn't to you, don't worry. And teenagers/young adults/middle-aged people, have you noticed this?

Answer 1

All my life I have seen older people do this. Not all of them, but some. So I determined not to be that way and as I am in my 70's, I do not behave that way. I often wondered about this and came to the conclusion that older people who behave that way are still suffering from low self-esteem as they were in their youths. The problem with this is that they will sometimes damage younger people who do not suspect that these people are weak and tainted.

Answer 2

The wise thing to do would be not to make your mind up about a whole generation just because you had a few bad experiences.



There are good people and bad people. You know that saying about some people seeing the cup as half empty and some seeing it as half full. Well the half full people have a much better time in life, they look for the good in things rather than the bad.



Rebel against the negative because it's bad for your mental health. Being positive isn't metaphysically creative as some would say, but it is a better approach to life because cynicism is quite destructive.



The thing is we have to take responsibility for our own actions and we can't use other peoples bad behaviour as an excuse to be horrible our selves. I'm no saying you should be a push over though. I am saying that you might benefit from a spoon full of empathy.



Realism is fine as long as you don't always look for the realistically bad.



If you're a naturally polite kind person then changing your behaviour just because others are rude is very sad indeed. Keeping integrity means you grow in self worth in my opinion.

Answer 3

Yes, son, I'm old, well at least getting there anyway. And I've seen disrespectful people on both sides of the fence, literally. Let me tell you about age. Some people when they age go back to when they were young they were taught to respect their elders. It was Mr. and Mrs. ma'am, sir, aunt, and uncle. The only times first names were used was if directly instructed by the person. So, I think a lot of older people feel you should kowtow to them. They figure they are above and beyond thanking you for anything. Like the respect doesn't need to e earned, it should automatically be there. Also, we plain just don't feel good some days. Even some older people hav had little strokes that can change their personality. And let's face it, crying babies can get on anyone's nerves. Also, let's just face it, some old people have been sour all their lives. I myself am very thankful when anyone holds a door for me or gives up their seat on a bus for me. I worked in a job that I dealt with all age groups. And yes there are some old people that I would simply like to ship off to the moon. And a couple of cocky youngsters that I'd like to stuff a sock in it. Some youngsters feel we are just simply in the way. You too will be old one day. What goes around comes around. The only thing I can't stand about teenagers on a whole is your rap music. Can't figure any use to it. But other than that, some of the kids with the wildest piercings, tattooed-up, neon haired have been some of the politest I've run into. Another thing in my business we had a lot of gay people we dealt with and they have always been completely respectful to me. I don't know if it's because they feel persecuted themselves and figure that seniors are being persecuted as well because of our age but they have always been very kind to me. So, I see it from both sides. So, a note to seniors, let's all try to remember the youngsters that do go out of the way to hold a door, give a seat up, etc. Be sure to acknowledge their kindness because I do remember what it was like to be young and not be shown appreciation when I went out of my way to do extra things that were not just expected of me. Have a good day.

Answer 4

As an older person who has had the same treatment as yourself

when trying to be "a gentleman" I whole heartedly agree, but

in my case the rudeness came from a few younger people.



I was walking towards the doors of a shopping mall, I was not

immediately aware of people behind me, opened the door went

through, then noticed two young women of about 20 behind me

so I held the door until they had passed through. They both

started giggling, and one of them said, "Who does he think he is,

the effing doorman?" More giggling. I mention this to show that

it works both ways.



I live in a small village where everyone even if you do not know

their name, says Hi, or Good Morning, so manners and politeness

are the norm, but now I pick and choose who I hold doors open for,

I would rather have people in towns and cities think me rude, rather

than being the object of derision. No matter how well mannered we

may be, some people, young or older are not worth bothering with.

Answer 5

This has very little to do with a person's age apart from the fact that there ARE some older people who think that their age alone entitles them to respect. Respect has to be earned and if a person (regardless of age) shows no respect for others then he/she doesn't deserve to be given any. However, I don't think that any of us should use that as an excuse to show none to that despicable person. If we act like him we will become as bad and as bitter as he is so keep up the good work and be a lovely, polite young person then you will, almost certainly, grow into being a lovely, polite older person. That old man was probably a disagreeable bully as a school child and was probably very much disliked. He will have been friendless all his life and will have had to buy friends through offering drinks etc. because no-one spends time with such a person unless there's something in it for them.



I am the opposite of you. I'm a retired female who holds doors for young mums with pushchairs, young men carrying piles of books and for older people or just anyone who wishes to get through a door after I have done so. I rarely get a thank you from any of them and it is not just young people who are ungrateful and disrespectful as you pointed out to us here.

Answer 6

respect is something that is earned not given as of right. If others behave badly then surely that shows you what people would think if you behaved that way. So you have the choice as to whether to show respect for others or to show no respect at all.



I am sure that in your 18 years you have also seen many people behave in a respectful and law abiding manner yet what sticks out is the memory of those who behaved badly. Pretty sure also that there have been times when you too have behaved poorly either in class, to your friends or parents. Yet you have learned to be polite and hold open the door for people. Did you do this because it was right and you wanted to do it or were you doing it for public affirmation of how wonderful you are.



It is your choice to live by setting an example that is positive or negative. If you treat others with respect then ultimately people will respect you..........whatever your age

Answer 7

Because .... 'They are old enough to be your grandparent!'.



They work all their life paying taxes, They give up their dreams to raise a family, their kids grow up with different music and movies to relate to.



Nobody says 'Thank you!', nobody cares if you grew up in house without a bath.



Sometimes communication is a generation away..... Maybe the old lady 'grunted' as you held the door open... maybe you heard a grunt but she said "Bless you", in her breathless, disabled manner.



Kind of like when young people speak to old people, old people just hear grunts too!



Maybe the old man on the bus had seen some hard times in his past and couldn't understand why some kids cry for a chocolate bar.



Maybe he couldn't understand why he'd never seen his descendants because when he was young communities knew every family in the area, not just their own.



Opening a door for someone was once taken for granted, but you might have been thanked very kindly for buying a loaf of bread and a few groceries at a shop. Think about it, when was the last time a cashier looked you in the eye and genuinely said "Thank you!"

Answer 8

How many "old people" do you know? Clearly not many and it appears the ones you do know have some issues. DO NOT blame all old people because you have had a couple of incidents. Did you ever think that the people who did not thank you were having a hard enough time just walking through that door?



What you have said about old people also can be about people YOUR age. I can give you examples but it won't solve anything. I try to be tolerant when I feel people are being rude (like you) because in the end I only have to treat people how I'd like to be treated. The rest is up to them.



PS I question someone's motives who expects to be thanked for doing a common courtesy. It should come naturally to you no matter the age of the person. Are you only being courteous to BE thanked?

Answer 9

You say"...not all old people" in your responses to some Answers; however you never said "Some old people..." within your Question. Big difference.



Guess what? It goes both ways - I've held doors open for people, regardless of age. Some acknowledge, some don't. To those who don't, I loudly say: "You're welcome!"



Holding the door open is just common courtesy-I don't have to hold that door open; however some bop through as though I'm supposed to hold it. In that case? I let the door go.



Rudeness knows no age.

Answer 10

do not think all old people are rude. no thanks was probably the shock of being treated with respect by one of the younger generation.seeing as most young people are social parasites who were probably expecting a tip for opening the door. i do hope you have some decent memories in the late years 2020/s when to days babies will cause a population explosion, more shirkers than workers.

i will be up the chimney then yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Answer 11

You met ONE old person who was a grouch and generalize to all old people? That is not really fair. You do deserve praise for your attempts to be kind to others but you need to mature in your ability not to see one example and believe that every one of the over 1,000,000,000 older people in the world are all like that.



As for me,I have never demanded respect. I try to earn it through my behavior toward others, my intellect and my ability to solve problems that stop others in their tracks.



I think if you look around the world, you will see that old people who are crotchety and disrespectful used to be young people who were crotchety and disrespectful. Being an idiot is something that takes a lifetime to perfect. It doesn't begin when a person applies for Social Security!

Answer 12

That's four people that you mentioned. Please don't judge us all by them. I do say "thank you" when someone is nice enough to hold open any door. I also will open a door for someone regardless of age. It wasn't nice, like you said, for those people to ignore you like that or for that man to spew out his dislike for people. Some people don't have class while others simply don't realize what they're doing. Give them a break. Don't get so easily offended either. I'm not going to think bad of all younger people by the few who show disrespect. There's bound to be a few rotten apples in a bunch.

Answer 13

I have had that sort of thing happen to me from all ages. And I have also had respect from all ages. It is not any given age group that is at fault, but individuals within each age group. Also from all walks of life.

Unfortunately neither education or life experiences can fully cover up basic ignorance in anyone.



Beulah

Answer 14

Respect is earned not demanded. Does it not occur to you that old people are no different to young people in everything but age? The world is full of all sorts of personalities. So don't rush to judgement before you have come across a representative number. Your comments about oldies can be equally applied to teenagers. It will all become clearer as you grow older yourself. And you will grow older.

Answer 15

You obviously live in a urban environment. When population density is high many people are continually annoyed and getting irritable with each other. It happens with all ages.

Answer 16

Sorry to say, but disrespect comes in all shapes, sizes, genders, colors,....and yes, it comes in all ages, too. Sad but true. Just keep on setting a good example by being a nice, respectful person.

Answer 17

On their behalf, "thank you". Your polite manners should have been noted but don't let that stop you acting as a gentleman. You have a long life ahead of you and your name will be associated with your actions, not those of others.

Answer 18

My experience has been that some people are rude and some are not. Age has nothing to do with it.

Answer 19

This is something that you must learn to live with. Remember in the Bible healed many people and only two said thanks for what he did. You and l are not better then God so why do we expect more then him from people. Think about it some?

Answer 20

How rude of them! Yes I have noticed this too at times, adults commonly contradict themselves. I guess they're losing their sanity, poor guys

Answer 21

i have to agree for some reason some oldsters feel just because they are old you HAVE to be respectful although they aren't



age gives you no bonus for being old..you get what you give...that is my motto

Answer 22

Agree, the most vile and nasty abuse i've had is from bitter elderly people who think that everybody owes them liberties because of their age but who have forgotten the manners they were brought up with. I've worked in retail and often had verbal abuse over the most trivial things that would make a navvy blush and you have to bear the brunt because as they make a point of saying "i'm a pensioner and i etc.." as it's a defense for their behavour.



Not everyone is like this the vast majority are lovely just i've dealt with a few individuals.

Answer 23

It is an individual thing and not an old people thing.

Answer 24

Too bad for you. I have known no one more courteous or respectful than "old people". I don't however find that from Young People.

Answer 25

All different types of people of are rude and disrespectful. Many young people are rude and dress like idiots and many old people are rude and miserable. Personally, I think old people have more of a right to be rude than young people because being old means that you're tired and not as able as you used to be.

Answer 26

Short answer. Respect is earned. I've earned it. You have not.

Answer 27

Not true, you have allot to learn.