Why are the kids today spoiled and given too much?

Question

By not only their parents, but ( gulp ) by us grandparents, also? We think back to the days when we had to think and invent ways to amuse outselves and blame today's parents for the laziness of today's kids , but do we also, contribute to their dependence on gadgets and extravagant things?

Previous questions on here today has brought back a memory just a very few years ago when I was cashier at a local supermarket, of a man and his 2 young boys, about 9 and 7. They are obviously poor compared to today's community.

Near the checkout, the man handed each boy a dollar bill and told them they could spend it on anything they wanted. Those boys lit up like Christmas trees with sudden surprise and joy - their smiles at the unexpected windfall was amazing. Also, the father's immense pleasure at being able to give his boys a dollar to spend showed clearly in his posture and loving smile as he watched the kids.

This scene left me spellbound and I will never forget it. Imagine what a cashier sees daily of kids whining, yelling, demanding and crying and some running amok in the store, while their parents give them anything the kid wants.
Even well behaved children are asked and given their smallest whim. A dollar to most kids would seem pretty chintzy, as a dollar doesn't by hardly anything anymore.

Sorry my friends,that this is so long, but Qs on here lately are bringing back memories. I am reminiscing too much lately.....a clear sign of old age creeping in or arriving with a gallop?

Answer 1

Sometimes, the act of giving gives us so much pleasure that we forget that we might be teaching the wrong lessons when we overindulge children.



We also tend to substitute "things" for what the children might appreciate more, like time spent with them.

Answer 2

Probably because we were deprived as children. We had more fun with the boxes than the gifts sometimes.



When my grandchildren have a birthday I go pick them up and take them to the store they want to go to and tell them they have $30 to spend. Sometimes they go a little over and I don't say anything. It depends on how much money I have at the time. But this way they get to choose what they want but they also have to live within a budget. Then I can take them home guilt free because they got what they wanted and learned the value of $30. This also gives us one on one time to spend together. We will also go have a snack or lunch together before going home. They LOVE Mickey Dee's so they usually choose that. I also check with Mom to see if she has any restrictions on items (like knives for the boys or too short tops for the girls). In April I also take her shopping with me and give her $30 for her birthday as well. I think the kids especially like this better than plain old gift cards because Grandma takes her time to spend with them. The other Grandma gives them gift cards, but they get to spend the night at her house more ofte because she doesn't work outside the home.

Answer 3

I have heard some say back in the 60's and 70's that they were going to give their children everything that they (parents) never had because they grew up either poor or struggling during the Depression. Their kids ended up being bratty and demanding and not appreciating the material things that were freely given. There is a great deal of satisfaction in earning money to buy things for oneself and their fathers deprived them of that satisfaction and taught them to be manipulative and feel entitled.



Those children you mentioned were given an unexpected gift and it made them happy. I remember a co-worker who had a second job working at a local Target store 25 years ago. He dreaded working Sunday mornings because the children who had gone to church with their parents & were all dressed up would come with their families and throw bratty fits demanding things, and he thought they were taught if they acted nice in church then they would be rewarded with a gift later. That seems like a mistake too, more like a bribe for being good.

Answer 4

Everybody wants their children to have an easier time and not have to do without, and this is what we've created. They get cars given to them at 16, forget waiting until they graduate and learning to work on it.

I read so many questions from young people on YA that are bored, low self-esteem, and talking suicide. No one has hobbies anymore, they don't even clean their own houses.

One thing you did NOT do in front of my Mom was look bored, she'd have you cleaning those hardwood floors and old braided rugs, hanging clothes on the line, weeding the garden, uh uh, I'm out chasing horned toads or teasing fire ants, anything but that.

Answer 5

Kids today are spoiled by parents and grandparents. My own parents were strict and we had to follow rules without whining. I don't know where the answer is but my 16 year old granddaughter is a nice person and kind as well as friendly even though she was spoiled a lot growing up. My own daughter does not believe using the 'rod' is a useful tool. Her children love her and behave where ever they go. She is a better mother than I was. Poppy

Answer 6

Perhaps because the parents of today are so much better off they like to give things that they were unable to have when young

It's also an easy way out for some parents,instead of taking them to a park and having a kick around,or even walkin with them in the hills,it's easier to buy them some game.

Answer 7

but isn't this what EVERY generation says of the next? Baby boomers calling Gen X'ers lazy. We Gen X'ers doing the same to the Y generation?



I come from a hard working blue collar Catholic family, Latino. Believe me, we were NOt spoiled. But I understand your grievance. also, taking the time to teach kids is something parents don't od much of since it seems everyone is so busy now. busy? I thought computers made our lives easier. Hell, I miss the days when we had no internet and computers.

Answer 8

Today, parents try to buy love to pacify their children. They don't give them time and, honestly, they are out of touch with the fast changing world especially in the area of electronics. The laws do not allow discipline. Spank a child...go to jail. Discipline a child verbally...go to jail. Kiss your child goodnight...go to jail. Give your child a bath...go to jail. The law assumes that every parent with a child is a pervert and an abuser. We have lost all concept of family values. Children need discipline, children need love, children need guidance. In the United States this is not allowed by the Government or greedy attorneys. Forget having children. The liability to the parents is too great of a risk.

Answer 9

If you ask parents about why they give their kids everything, the answer I get is they want their kids to have it easier and have what they did not. But without something to work for what are they teaching them. A TV show "Are We There Yet?" the two children want money for something when the step-father tells them to work for it, the boy says, "We don't want lessons, we want money!"

Answer 10

I worked retail most of my life and usually the whining was from kids who are only mirroring their parents attitudes. They don't fall far from the tree. Calm and mannerly parents don't allow bad behavior to go very far. It's dealt with immediately.



Then there are the parents who are buying just to buy because their lives are way out of control and they need the "quick fix" that shopping provides. The kids are out of control as well. They don't know why they're whining, but as soon as they leave, they know their parents are going to take them to a fast food restaurant (we heard it over and over) if they are good..........yikes.

Answer 11

Guilty.

We are in a small town, with very poor shopping.

I ebay and get a lot of really cool clothes for my grandchildren.

They love it, and it helps the parents out.



I actually don't think my grandchildren are spoiled by gadgets and such.

Answer 12

We who overindulged our children

are seeing them overindulge their children

and must accept the responsibility for

starting a terrible trend. Thus, we who started it all

should belay the criticism,



As to your tale----- the separation of those who have plenty

and those who have little or nothing is growing. In some countries

there are only very poor and very rich...

..seems we are headed in that direction in the USA

Answer 13

The parents? to make up for what they perceive (usually rightly so) is too little of their time and interest, Sad.



Grandparents,Our wish to make them happy. For a period of time not in the too distant past we could be a little more financially generous. I've told mine, times are tougher now and I won't be able to be so freely generous. A really good teenage grandchild should be savvy enough to understand.

Answer 14

hello Daisy; i dont wish to anger or offend or upset anyone but we have alotta dictatorship in this world of ours...... im sure theres a trillion reasons why this is.......... plus it is what it is ..i dont like the theory of they didnt have much as a child so they vow they will do more theory.......it just all is what it all is honey.......why cant everyone just accept it and im sure all familys really wish everyone would mind their own business all the time again i dont wish to upset or offend you dear........i just believe in focus in ones own home and thats about it or watch only the children of yours in your own shopping cart in the stores and if you are cursed to be a baby sitter .. forget the place as soon as you leave or the parents pick up the child......... each family does what they wish to do i dont see why it bothers anyone at all actually.......... including glorious grandparents amen... ur sweet daisy have a nice memory... idk old age is crept up on me all of a sudden and i still dont care at all what everyones familys do or dont do its none of my business.....no offense........like who wants to live in a fish bowl?

Answer 15

Because they are an investment. I'll shell out $ if there is any indication of talent.



Fit throwers; I wish more parents would have their children tested for autism/AS.

It's hard to watch peoples reaction to fit throwing children.



A good lifting memory you brought with you today. =)

Answer 16

I don't have an answer to your question, but what a beautiful story. And what a fortunate family they are to have love and respect for one another.